Stand Up For Yourself Even If Nobody Is On Your Side
Of all the things most of us are told while growing up, the one that I agree with is that you need to stand up for yourself, but not everyone is told how. My father told me the “Three Strikes, You’re Out” method.
- If someone is bother you, tell them to stop.
- If they do it again, tell them to stop again. Louder. Draw attention to the situation.
- If they do it again, you have witnesses as to why they got punched in the jaw,
I was taught confidence and assertiveness; I was taught not to put up with disrespect. Unfortunately, not everyone receives that lesson.
Also, a lot of people are taught that violence is not the answer. I agree to an extent. Words can only take you so far. If your bully is verbal, however, a punch in the face would make you look bad. Words will work just fine.
I’ll give you an example.
Back in highschool, I was one of those people who only had one friend to sit with at lunch because of scheduling. A bully sat at our table one day with two of her friends and, subtly, began insulting me. At my table.
I sat there and let her talk. Analyzed her crew. The one on her right was clearly the submissive type and didn’t say a word. The one on her left, however, was clearly her own individual and was appalled by the fact that she was insulting me at my own table.
I continued to sit there and let the bully talk. My friend sitting next to me was surprised by my silence. Her confusion was understandable. I had been spending the entire year teaching her how to defend herself and increasing her confidence. But, despite her confusion, she followed my example and remained silent.
The bully continued to talk. I continued to let her. I can’t remember everything she said. I didn’t need to. I already had my smoking gun; paying attention wasn’t mandatory.
Lunch ended and we were dismissed in sections. I was on the south side of the cafeteria. When my section was called, I stood up, gathered my things and said:
You need to get those extensions outcha hair before you start talking about mine.
The bully’s mouth hung open in disbelief while her independent friend and my friend laughed.
I haven’t seen that bully since.
So, in many cases, words are an adequate and efficient weapon. It all depends upon the bully.
All bullies are insecure. That’s why they bully. They are weak people who only feel better about themselves while they are tearing someone else down. To win, you just need to figure out said insecurities and use them to your advantage. Just like my example about, you might only need to fire back once. I had established that I wasn’t going to put up with her and she backed off.
Not a lot is being done about bullies and bullying these days besides the holding of seminars to explain to children why bullying is bad. And, also, the bullies are not taught the consequences of their actions at school or at home.
Which is why kids need to start doing it themselves.
They need to learn to depend upon themselves.
They need to know that they need to stand up for themselves even if they are alone.
They need to know that it is already for them to defend themselves.
If push comes to shove, they need to be able to rely on themselves.
How would you get rid of a bully?
- When did suicide become the answer to bullying? (joyfulwifeblog.wordpress.com)
- The roots of bullying (robinpittman823.wordpress.com)
- School Bullying (tinaseriousone.wordpress.com)
- Bullying – not a small problem – no one is immune (youthvybez.wordpress.com)