We Don’t Lose Friends; We Discover Real Ones
My four best friends stabbed me in the back. Here it goes.
To put it bluntly and simply; they avoided me and lied about it.
To expand: I was in college at the time. Two of my friends shared a birthday and one of them invited me to a birthday dinner scheduled for the Friday coming up. I told her I couldn’t make it because my father was taking me home that evening for break. I really wanted to go to the dinner, so I called my dad and asked him if he would pick me up on Sunday instead. He agreed. I was ecstatic!
Friday rolled around and she and the rest of our friends weren’t looking me in the eye. There was an air of tension. I noticed this, but attributed it to the busy day.
I should have known better.
It stormed that Friday. On and off. Evening came around and no one was responding to my text messages. I went to the birthday girl’s dorm room and received no response to the knock on the door. It was dark in there, Humid outside.
I felt a knot in my gut.
Someone finally answered the phone call some time later. Told me they hadn’t gone anywhere because of the storm.
I felt a knot in my gut.
It was too quiet on his end of the line.
On Saturday, I spoke with the closest of my four friends and he said,
We did what we planned.
My gut was right. I should have known better than to give them the benefit of the doubt.
I ran into the woods that reside beside the college. Called the friend that who had lied to me and burst into tears.
He ran into the woods after me. Told me what happened.
They had all been under the impression that I had invited myself to the dinner. The little lady that had invited me had forgotten that she had. And instead of telling me how they felt about the matter, they decided to avoid the problem instead.
I think back to that day, that even, and wonder whether or not they even CONSIDERED the consequences of their actions.
The analogy I use to explain the situation to myself is the child lying to the parent instead of just telling the truth.
If you tell the truth, you just might get in trouble, but they’ll appreciate the fact hat you were honest. You would have proven to be trustworthy. Lie, however, and not only to you get in trouble for lying, but your parents will, when you finally tell them the truth, will be too busy being angry at the fact you lied to pay attention. And, the thing is, you might not have even gotten into trouble if you have just told the truth in the first place. Now, your parents are not only angry, but they can no longer trust you.
That’s exactly what happened to them, my old friends. The truth would have been the better option. Had they told me how they felt, I would have explained to them that I had been invited and that the birthday girl had forgotten. They had some other issues, too; it was their 21st birthday, so they were planning on drinking, which I don’t do.
Why didn’t they just tell me that? The dummies.
I can’t trust them now.
I reconciled with two of them, but the level of trust isn’t what it used to be.
They avoided me. They lied to me. They betrayed me.
THAT is something I do not tolerate.
I am a blunt, straightforward, and honest with everyone and I expect it back.
The friend that followed me into the woods is the closest to having regained my trust. He admitted his guilt. He followed me into the woods. He also became the mediator of the group and tried to help us all reconcile.
Even though I have graduated from college and am now 4 hours away, we still talk.
But the most painful thing about that entire betrayal is the man, who is now a boy in my book, that I wanted to go out with stabbed me in the back. That was a relationship that would have worked had he not made that one mistake.
I can never trust him again. Not fully, anyway.
The other two have fallen victim to karma. They have alienated themselves from the rest of our friends.
Lies, betrayal, backstabbing; those are the character traits I avoid and if I realize that a person has those qualities, I avoid them. My detector, obviously, doesn’t work all the time, but it has served me well for most of my life.
- Discover what’s within (speakingup4me.wordpress.com)
- The 50 Best Quotes About Friendship (thoughtcatalog.com)
- Beat The Loneliness: Find Friends & Let The Internet Help You (makeuseof.com)