My Apologies For My Absence

There is a myriad of reasons as to why I have been unable to post. The most recent phenomenon is the lack of a computer; my laptop kept crashing after only being on for 5 minutes. I am currently using my newly bought Samsung Chromebook while my lovely significant other is building me a PC; we only need one more piece to complete it.

There’s also work; call centers are exhausting. And there’s school; I am taking Stratford Career Institute’s Video Game Design course. I am on the final module, contemplating what I will take next. In addition, I have been working more on my art.

I was recently invited to join Graphicker, which I just built my profile for today. I also recently joined ArtStation and I have been a member of DeviantArt for 4 years, but I just now put my artwork up for sale. I am contemplating starting a Patreon account, but I need to do more research as to what it is.

The point I am trying to make is, despite the distractions, I am back. After I regain access to my files on my laptop, I intend to post photos of my art. In case you’re interested.

B.E.

Quote by Friedrich Nietzsche

Quote by Friedrich Nietzsche

I noticed today, while looking through some of the things that I have written and shared, that I have only touched upon what it is that I want to accomplish. I also noticed something about the title of my site and my message.

Become Empowered.

B.E.

Be who you want to be, not who they tell you to be.

Believe in yourself.

Are you seeing what I’m seeing? If not, look again. I put it in bold for you.

I want for all of us to simply be. We are told our entire lives, from childhood, to behave a certain way; to believe certain things; to constantly be obedient. To constantly do what it is we are told to do; to be what we are told to be. It inhibits creativity and personality, don’t you think?

What I have been trying to do is show new ways of thinking. I have been posting what I wrote to Challenge 1 so as to show you how I think. How I feel. And even a bit of what I believe. I will be posting Challenge 2 soon.

The point is, we go through life on one path, usually with one way of thinking.

I plan, after I turn 24, to go back to school to learn video game design at the Art Institute of Pittsburgh. People have been trying to talk me out of it and to go and get a county job; trying to get me to do things their way and make my decisions for me. At least, that’s how I see it. I could be wrong.

But, look at the picture at the top of this post. What do you think my decision is?

And that is a message I have been trying to spread; be who you want to be, not who they tell you to be.

B.E.

Believe in yourself.

Become Empowered.

20150215, 0216, 0217- Laptop is fried.

20150215 [11:52] Sunday

Laptop’s fucked up. Battery is dead so when the power went out, I don’t know; five times? Fucked up my laptop. Now all I have left is my phone and my NOOK Tablet and whatever information I have on my flash drive(s).

[12:03]

Laptop is fried. Nothing can be done. I hope that doesn’t mean I’ve lost EVERYTHING! I need a new computer, that’s for sure.

20150216 [18:42] Monday

I am still laptop less, but that’s what the library is for. That’ll be a lot of blogging for 15 minutes worth of library time. Ugh. And potentially typing up a fanfic I will eventually start. Eventually. I know the middle and seeing as how Once Upon A Time hasn’t ended, there won’t be an end any time soon. I just need to start the damn thing.

Oh! Regina! Got it. YAY!

Watching Straight A’s. Love the movie! Haven’t seen it in a while. I remember it enough to know when to start skipping stupid parts. Well… not stupid. Its all character development, but there are parts of peoples’ characters I don’t like. Chick who played Sookie, or whatever, in True Blood is in this movie. I wonder why they decided to call it “True Blood” anyway. It’s based off a book series. 7 books in the series. I wonder how closely the TV series followed the books? I wouldn’t know. I’ve only finished one book and only seen one episode of True Blood and it was late in the series. I don’t even know what Season it was. And I started a different episode, didn’t finish it. It was… interesting. Can’t remember who was who; I just know who Sookie (stupidest name in the world) and Bill are. Well. In terms of the book, I like Bill more than I like Sookie, which is interesting considering the fact the entire book is in first person and in Sookie’s point of view. Still a good character, though. I just like her vampire boyfriend better. But, you know what? I love this series a HELL of a lot better than the Twilight series. I read one of the books and felt my IQ drop 10 points.

Does Twilight have potential? Eh. If the relationship and character development of Bella and Edward were better. Jacob is FANTASTIC, but I have a problem with how the creatures of the night are developed. The werewolf… thing where they bind with someone…? …Yeah. I don’t get it. If Jacob loves Bella, why I don’t know, then that should be it. And why people seem to like Bella’s blandness I have absolutely no idea. She seems to always need saving, while Sookie has not only saved herself, she has saved Bill. A couple times, if my memory serves me right.

On a more random note, I’m going to need a new bookmark for my journal because the damn ribbon that was built into it just fell out. Or I could just remember to put it back into the book when I’m done. I could do that, too.

Oh, my friend Sara is going to school for computer repair. She thinks she can help my POS that got fried. Lost my damn music again.19:28- JEOPARDY!

[20:32]

I GOT THE FINAL JEOPARDY! No one else did! It was Medea! “To plot”! I knew it the second I heard/read it! If the third woman hadn’t bet a thing, she would have won. Hell, I could have won that one.

20150217 [21:23] Tuesday

Played Inquisition all day after a very interesting moring at work. I ended up leaving an hour and a half later because I was helping to do other things BEFORE actually doing my job. I walked into the back and SOMETHING happened because there were dishes EVERYWHERE! Power must have gone out or something. Or they lost all their hot water? I think Corner Bakery closed early, too. Oh well. An extra hour and a half of pay; 13.5 dollars if I’ve done my math right. Too tired after my benedryl to care about double checking.

I missed the Fan Appreciation Contest. Guess I’ll just have to wait for the next one; hopefully, there will be a next one. I’ll just have to celebrate the DA series by myself…

Speaking of which, I did a couple things differently with my mage playthrough. Romancing Cullen instead of Solas, which has been pretty cute so far. I’m purposely not using Cullen for certain missions. In my rogue playthrough, it was the Inquisiton’s Forces that everybody was fearing/respecting at the epilogue. I’m gonna try for Connections this time. I don’t know how I would feel about Secret reigning supreme. But with one mission, Dorian’s actually, I’m going to send Leliana to get the book. Had Cullen do it last time. Leliana’s looking for The Hero of Ferelden at the moment. She’ll be done a little bit after noon. I wonder if I’ll have another long day again tomorrow…

I CAN’T WAIT to work at Don’s Wood-Fired Pizza! The owners are so damn nice! I stopped by and asked them about progress and they said they were still interested in me, just needed to get through my only reference when things weren’t so busy.

My hand’s starting to hurt… my head, too.

Goodnight.

Oh, by the way…

I noticed after my first post today that it has been exactly one month since I posted to Become Empowered. I apologize.

During that one month of absence, I have been working and typing up and posting my journal entries to another site called

GET TO KNOW TITANS MONRIA!

For those who are curious, click the link above! 😀

20150101

DAMMIT!

I tried recording a video of my reading allowed Edgar Allen Poe’s poem “IMITATION” to post to YouTube, as planned, and the sound kept breaking up. I have a headset and everything! And I was EXCITED! The headset is brand new and hardly used, so I HIGHLY doubt that could be it.

Frick.

Any thoughts? Suggestions? Advice… this is underwhelming…

Well, my day wasn’t all bad. I went for a couple walks and, in so doing so, realized that I wasn’t able to make videos before because I was sitting down. As I was walking I was FLOWING with ideas of what I could do in the videos! The plan I had was to either A) read stuff aloud so that I could be doing two things at once or B) walk and talk. Then the sounds stops working… I don’t know what I’m hoping for. A messed up headset or a messed up computer. This is upsetting…

Since I couldn’t read it aloud for you all, I’ll post the poem here. The plan was to learn with you. I had never read “IMITATION” so I decided to share that first. Looks like I get to put videos on the back burner… again… fuck…

IMITATION

A dark unfathom’d tide
Of interminable pride-
A mystery, and a dream,
Should my early life seem;
I say that dream was fraught
With a wild, and waking thought
Of beings that have been,
Which my spirit hath not seen.
Had I let them pass me by,
With a dreaming eye!
Let none of earth inherit
That vision of my spirit;
Those thoughts I would control,
As a spell upon his soul:
For that bridge hope at last
And that light time have past,
And my worldly rest hath gone
With a sigh as it pass’d on:
I care not tho’ it perish
With a thought I then did cherish.

[1827]

What did you guys think? I didn’t really get what Poe was talking about, to be honest, but I liked his use of language.

Until I can get a techy friend to help me out, I’ll have to stick with just posting. And sharing other peoples’ videos. God dammit…

Pardon the cussing, if you care.

19:46

I realize I never made a New Year’s Resolution to write in my journal every day, unless I forgot, but I think it is a good time to start. I have forgotten most of 2014, how about I don’t forget 2015.

I realize while walking back from the library today that I have my best ideas when I am walking. I am just FLOWING with them. Which was what I planned on doing for my videos that I planned to post to YouTube. Problem. Scratchy sound. If it’s not one thing, it is another.

It was too cold today for any extensive walking, so the only trips I took were to the store and the library. I spent most of the day on Netflix watching NUMB3RS. I switched to The Finder about 5 minutes ago. I am multi-tasking between watching that and The Sims Free Play on my phone. Or, I would be if my phone would cooperate. Got to Lvl 42! At 44 I can get another Sim.

20:30

I haven’t been able to play DA: Inquisition since PSN got hacked. I found out today it might just be a glitch in the game, but I’m open to the hack being a disruption. I’m hoping the game glitched, oddly enough.

I spent most of the day looking through FB for inspirational quotes. I made one Bitstrips comic today. I think. Took a benedryl. At nine I will turn off all the lights. I should be ready to sleep by ten.

21:00

Goodbye lights.

Let’s end this post on a positive note, shall we?

 

20141231

18:18

Unfortunately, writing in a journal isn’t more of a habit. I should be FILLED with things to say about the year. (21:13) I don’t. I’m not. I mean, I could probably try, but I don’t remember a good portion of the year 2014. Which is probably why every time I go to the movies I keep the movie ticket. And ALL my receipts for anything. I eventually throw the paper ones away, but I still have all my online receipts. Every single one. I think. Most likely. Wouldn’t surprise me.

I keep stalling on tasks I really want to complete. My journal entries, for example. But I also love to sing and add to my YouTube Channel beyond other peoples’ videos. I want to add to the world and spread a positive message, but I can’t seem to pick up the headset and get myself going. (21:20) Do I feel like I have been unproductive? Surprisingly not. I have been reading You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy?! and learning more about ADHD. Still haven’t gotten a proper diagnosis, but I am on page 137 and… yeah. I have it. I’m not fearful of my diagnosis. I’m just more interested in simply learning more about it.

That will be part of my New Year’s Resolutions. Tomorrow, I will make a video and post it to my channel.

Wish me luck!